Hackery! Journo’s joke attempt ‘perfectly describes media, Obamacare’

Evidently. At least according to Politico’s Glenn Thrush, who has long suffered from a bad case of sycophantitis. Check out his latest fit of lapdoggery:

Pitiful.

Heh.

Citizens rightly gave him the business.

Bam!

Oh, he is totally doing his “job”:

Perfect.

This Twitter user helpfully sums things up for Thrush:

Get it now, lapdog?

Speaking of fedoras, here is an exit theory that might explain Thrush’s absurdity.

Related:

Politico’s Thrush: Whatever, whiners; Obamacare train wreck is snoozeville!

Unreal ‘sycophantitus’: NYT, Politico’s Thrush up the boot-licking Obamacare hackery [pic]

Fanboy journo! What gaffes? Politico’s Glenn Thrush runs cover for Hillary’s ‘verbal typo’

Zing! NRO’s Geraghty blasts Holder, ‘consoles’ heartbroken Glenn Thrush as only he can

Politico’s Glenn Thrush suspects organized army of climate change trolls on Twitter

Glenn Thrush notes Okla. senators are ‘spending skeptic’ and ‘global warming denier’

Conservatives destroy Glenn Thrush’s mock-worthy ‘public interest’ defense of David Gregory

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/04/01/hackery-politico-lapdog-glenn-thrushs-joke-attempt-perfectly-describes-media-and-obamacare/


But Thats None Of My Business

But Thats None Of My Business

Read more: https://imgflip.com/i/aq58p


28 Of The Funniest Running Jokes On “Parks And Recreation”

Soak up your tears with these sweet memories. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

Parks and Recreation is ending tonight, and as we gather 5,000 candles in its honor, it’s time to reminisce.

NBC / Via tumblr.com

We’re not crying, OK?! We’re allergic to series finales.

Here are some of the best running jokes throughout the show’s seven seasons.

1. The Bermuda Triangle of Tammys.

NBC

NBC

 

Tammy 1, Tammy 2, and Ron’s mom, Tammy.

2. Ben’s relentless love for calzones.

Because pizza is your grandfather’s calzone.

3. Leslie’s colorful compliments.

NBC / Via community.ew.com

Vulture compiled all of Leslie’s terminology into one wonderful list so we can never forget ones like “Ann, you cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish.”

4. Ron’s love of breakfast food…

NBC / Via funnyjunk.com

Strippers do nothing for him, but he will take a free buffet anytime, anyplace.

5. …and all things meat.

NBC / Via nerdsdib.com

When he eats, it’s the food that’s scared of him. He even had a food truck name a bacon-wrapped turkey leg after him.

6. Tom’s endless entrepreneurial ideas.

Read more than two dozen of them at Vulture, or watch a supercut of all of them.

7. Leslie’s adoration of waffles.

NBC / Via tumblr.com

“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.” —Leslie Knope, philosopher/tropical butterfly

8. And her admiration of Ben’s butt.

Sometimes she even talks to it independently.

9. Her run-ins with Councilman Howser at the worst possible times.

NBC

NBC

 

Like when she was chanting “Knope rules, Jamm sucks!” into a megaphone.

10. Orin.

NBC / Via tvatemybaby.com

And his cheery demeanor.

11. The Cones of Dunshire.

NBC

 

Courtesy of unemployed Ben.

12. Ben repeatedly accepting and quitting his accounting job.

NBC

NBC

 

And his boss Barney’s overjoyed face whenever Ben cracks a joke.

13. And the firm’s undying love for him despite his departures.

NBC

You can always ac-count on him because it won’t be too tax-ing.

14. Pawnee City Hall’s offensive murals.

NBC / Via bananascoop.com

Its history is a bit…gruesome.

15. Jerry/Larry/Terry/Garry.

NBC

NBC

 

For the record, his real name is Garry.

16. The incompetent animal control team.

NBC

NBC

 

We’ll miss you dearly, Harris Wittels.

17. And Pawnee’s subsequent raccoon problem.

NBC

NBC

 

It’s so bad that the city established the Raccoon Eradication Initiative.

18. The town’s reliance on AltaVista.

The search engine is so old, it’s not even around anymore.

19. April’s dislike of any kind of affection.

(Except for Andy, of course.)

20. And Leslie’s distaste for the city’s librarians.

They’re extremely well-read, which makes them very dangerous.

21. The whirlwind that is Joan Callamezzo.

NBC / Via tumblr.com

Where can we get a copy of her book, Game of Joans?

22. Ron’s giddiness over riddles.

NBC / Via ign.com

He’s really, really good at scavenger hunts, probably because he hides survival gear and gold all over town.

23. Pawnee vs. Eagleton.

NBC / Via uproxx.com

They think they’re so much better with their clean parks and cupcake factory that makes the air smell like vanilla.

24. Jean-Ralphio and Mona Lisa singing.

Because they’re the wooOooorst.

25. Perd Hapley’s literal interpretations of everything.

NBC / Via hercampus.com

“Let’s begin the show by starting it.”

26. Duke Silver.

NBC

NBC

 

It may be cold outside, but it’s about to get warm all up in your jazz.

27. Li’l Sebastian, Pawnee’s famous miniature horse.

NBC

NBC

 

Whose celebrity was beautifully encapsulated with Ginuwine’s tribute.

28. Treat yoself.

NBC / Via imgarcade.com

Because we could all learn something from Tom and Donna’s annual day of luxury.

What’s your favorite? Tell us below, and we will all group-hug.

And check out our interview with Parks co-creator Michael Schur about Gryzzl, Ron and Leslie, and the last days on set.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/kasiagalazka/the-low-cal-calzone-zone


#LiberalBumperStickers: Some clever decorative suggestions for liberals

http://twitter.com/#!/AJerseyGirlYall/status/227170542845849600

Who wouldn’t want to help liberals pick out some bumper stickers?

#LiberalBumperStickers We love America so much we just can't wait to see how it ends!

— AMF Lincoln ن (@AMFLincoln) July 22, 2012

#LiberalBumperStickers Obama is the only choice for America in 2012 because he said so himself!!

— Jenn Jacques (@JennJacques) July 22, 2012

#LiberalBumperStickers 51% Taxpayers 49% Living Off Them

— Bebe Belusky (@BebeBelusky) July 22, 2012

Everyone needs to take a time out and bend to the will of about 20% of the U.S. population. They know best #LiberalBumperStickers

— Zanne (@ZoomZanne) July 22, 2012

#LiberalBumperStickers We built this city!

— Mark Strom, SPHR (@mstrom1213) July 22, 2012

Bought With Obama Bucks #LiberalBumperStickers

— Jared ate '08 (@Jared808) July 22, 2012

https://twitter.com/robharrison13/status/227174838496813056

#LiberalBumperStickers – Dividing America Since 2008

— Dang Liberals (@DangLiberals) July 22, 2012

#LiberalBumperStickers I support tolerance. That's why I boycott any business that thinks differently than I do.

— Valerie (@lainevalerie) July 22, 2012

The definition of insanity: repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result: SOCIALISM #LiberalBumperStickers

— Proud Infidel (@SocialistHater) July 22, 2012

https://twitter.com/mericanchuck/status/227169359414571009

I Brake For Composite Girlfriends #LiberalBumperStickers

— John A. Tandlich (@johntandlich) July 22, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/07/22/liberalbumperstickers-some-clever-decorative-suggestions-for-liberals/


Obama: This pic means I’ll fight for all Americans, if you send cash

President Obama has shamelessly been trying to cash in on the media hype over The Secret Romney Tape ™. Now, with more pictures!

See, he’ll totally fight for all Americans. If they hit that DONATE page, natch. Also, dreams and stuff:

Why President Obama is fighting to give everyone a shot at the American Dream: http://t.co/SwEz6Asr

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) September 18, 2012

Huh. That’s weird. What about that whole redistribution thing?

REDISTRIBUTION – @BarackObama said it to Joe the Plumber 4 yrs ago. Now, more direct evidence of his belief in #THEFT http://t.co/I8oGebyz

— Joe the Dissident (@joethepatriotic) September 18, 2012

You want to listen to this – @BarackObama talking about "redistribution" http://t.co/QLO9cSqv

— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 18, 2012

And these Twitter users have had enough of the president’s lies.

So they ARE victims? RT @BarackObama FACT: In 2011, the 47% of Americans who Romney insulted included nearly 20 million seniors.

— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) September 18, 2012

He likes the plane, the attention, trips, etc MT @BarackObama: Why President Obama is fighting to give everyone a shot at the American Dream

— Rschrim (@Rschrim) September 18, 2012

No thanks. Your American Dream requires government dependency MT"@BarackObama Why Obama is fighting to give everyone shot at American Dream"

— GOP Fashionista (@gopfashionista) September 18, 2012

@BarackObama YOU are so full of crap.

— HowMuchMore? (@AngelLadySC) September 18, 2012

@BarackObama: We need a President who is fighting for all Americans, not one who writes off nearly half the country." You fight for nobody!

— Reed Teakell (@TeakellMe) September 18, 2012

@BarackObama pretty vague “fact”. Please define “vast majority” and “large percentage”.

— Steve Weiss (@sp_weiss) September 18, 2012

@BarackObama is the perfect example of the American Dream but continues to show that he has no clue what it really is. #WakeUp

— T.H. Buck (@06bucknasty) September 18, 2012

@BarackObama except for those who own a business or carry a bible or a gun.

— d harsh (@DLHarshsr) September 18, 2012

He’ll never learn, will he? Keep being honest, Twitter!

Update: Wow. How presidential!

The president’s official Twitter account retweeted this absurdity.

Logo change for the Romney campaign: Believe in half of America. pic.twitter.com/rv6KlSYZ

— The Democrats (@TheDemocrats) September 18, 2012

Lame.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/09/18/obama-hey-this-pic-means-ill-totally-fight-for-all-americans-if-you-have-cash-for-me-citizens-rebuff/


I Say! This Gawker fellow seems rilly rather put out that the Daily Mail doesn’t attribute him

Gawker:

And that’s the great thing about working for a publication like this. You get to draw attention to all the reporters working their ass off to tell great stories who otherwise might not find this audience. I’ll go out of my way to attribute a story to someone, and so do the other writers here, from what I’ve seen. Because we’re not a bunch of assholes. Sending you somewhere else after you read a story here impacts us negatively in absolutely no way. So when someone steals your story and doesn’t even bother attributing it to you, especially on the Internet, where it’s so easy to add in one little link, it’s [adjective, intensifier] infuriating. It just makes that hard work seem even more worthless.

The most egregious organization when it comes to these offenses, and I’m sure this is one of the main sites that Carr has in mind, is the Daily Mail. That’s why my first order of business as Internet media sheriff is to tell the Daily Mail to go [verb] themselves and to do whatever I can to not give them traffic.

It’s not just that they steal stories so blatantly. They’ve been doing it for years, this is nothing new. It’s that they’re a bunch of assholes about it. They go out of their way to [verb] over journalists and they reap the benefits by becoming the most highly trafficked newspaper on the Internet. How hard would it be to put in one link to an article?

I’m sure their entry level “journalists” who scour the Internet daily for sites to rip off don’t enjoy being a bunch of thieving assholes. But they are. And the people in charge, the one’s who most certainly have instituted a policy of non-attribution, sit back and reap the profits.

I’ve certainly linked out to The Daily Mail before. I follow their twitter. They are great at aggregating and regurgitating stories, so it’s a real shame they can’t have just a little bit of honor amongst thieves, a shred of common decency, and credit the sites and reporters where they get their stories. So here is what I’m going to do. When I find a story on the Daily Mail I really like and want to write up, I’m going to take an extra five minutes and google some of the key words. I’m going to find the original story, or at least something close to, and I’m going to post that instead. I’d encourage you, if you’re in the position to drive traffic somewhere, be it through your own personal social media use or your job, to do the same.

Say it with me now: The Daily Mail can go [verb] itself.

Dreadful business. Crumpet?

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/03/13/i-say-this-gawker-fellow-seems-rilly-rather-put-out-that-the-daily-mail-doesnt-attribute-him/


The Definitive Ranking Of “SpongeBob SquarePants” Characters By Hotness

♫ If nautical crushes be something you wish… ♫

15. Mermaid Man

Nickelodeon / Via spongebob.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He’s a superhero who can control creatures of the sea. Automatic sexy points.

His Downside: That outfit. It must go.

14. Barnacle Boy

Why You’re Thirsty: He’s also a superhero, but he’s respected by lots of villains. Which makes him exponentially more impressive.

His Downside: His crankiness is off-putting AF.

13. Karen Plankton

Nickelodeon / Via thezombiepunch.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: She’s completely honest, and is a great, supportive wife to her off-the-rails husband.

Her Downside: Her bossiness and sarcasm causes for a lot of friction in her relationships.

12. Gary the Snail

Nickelodeon / Via drummedup.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He tends to surprise others with his intelligence. Plus, he could serenade you with his musical talent.

His Downside: His extreme stubbornness can sometimes be obnoxious.

11. Squidward Tentacles

Nickelodeon / Via kawaii-empire.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He’s got a confidence that no one can rival. And musical aspirations that could potentially go somewhere…if he finds more talent somehow.

His Downside: His apathy can make him a real drag to be around.

10. Sheldon Plankton

Nickelodeon / Via tra-nsparent.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He’s a business owner and also grew up an outcast, so he’s ~misunderstood~. Which is totally adorable.

His Downside: His criminal record is beyond cringeworthy.

9. Mrs. Puff

Nickelodeon / Via tumblesimply.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: She’s got a great sense of style, and believes in people that don’t even have faith in themselves sometimes.

Her Downside: She literally blows up when frustrated or nervous.

8. Eugene Krabs

Nickelodeon / Via fuckjay-z.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: Like Plankton, he’s a business owner, which shows major determination. He’s also a former cadet in the Pacific Navy. Military sea creatures = dreamy.

His Downside: His greediness and obsession with money usually translates to being cheap.

7. Patrick Star

Nickelodeon / Via byobworld.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He’s adorably ignorant to most things, but in a way that you want to help him instead of getting frustrated. He’s also an amazingly loyal friend.

His Downside: He’s not the smartest starfish in the sea by any means.

6. SpongeBob SquarePants

Nickelodeon / Via hikewhileyoucan.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: His overall positive outlook on every single aspect of life makes him really fun to be around.

His Downside: He’ll never be able to drive you anywhere. And you wouldn’t want him to.

5. Pearl Krabs

Why You’re Thirsty: She’s athletic, and definitely knows what she wants.

Her Downside: Completely unlike her father, she has no sense of control when it comes to spending, so she comes off as extremely spoiled.

4. The Flying Dutchman

Nickelodeon / Via spongebob-daily.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: Rugged men are so dreamy. Seriously. Plus, who doesn’t like a friendly dude?

His Downside: While he can easily bond with others, he’s also capable of being a straight-up asshole. Also, he’s a womanizer. No, thank you.

3. Sandy Cheeks

Nickelodeon / Via phoebesvag.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: Any squirrel who is that good at karate is definitely swoonworthy. She’s also not afraid to tell it like it is.

Her Downside: Sometimes her attitude can get the best of her.

2. Larry the Lobster

Nickelodeon / Via spongebob-daily.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: Who hasn’t had a crush on the lifeguard at the pool?

His Downside: Everyone knows he has bad B.O.

1. Fred (AKA the “My Leg!” and “My Eyes!” Guy)

Nickelodeon / Via fyeahfredrechid.tumblr.com

Why You’re Thirsty: He could definitely rev up your fryers.

His Downside: Absolutely nothing.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/annakopsky/hotties-under-the-sea


This Is The Only Time A Bucket Of KFC Will Blow Your Mind. What The?!

For Kyle Stockton’s birthday, his wife Laura wanted to do something extra special for him. To make sure it was a birthday he would always remember, she decided to create something in the kitchen he would never forget. She’s quite the chef in the kitchen and Kyle was blown away by what she came up with. She got the idea from her two sons, Josh and Harry. For them, it was a no brainer. Their dad loved KFC, so they thought his treat should be KFC-themed. What Laura was able to make was a work of art.

Kyle was a giant KFC fan…

So much so, his wife baked him a bucket of chicken for his birthday.

But it wasn’t REALLY chicken.

It was a delicious, delicious cake.

Mind = blown.

(H/T Mirror.co.uk) Laura never imagined that the Internet would go wild over her cake. After all, she hasn’t been trained in making cakes. Now, she is inspired by its popularity to start a baked goods business (with hopefully more awesome cakes). It’s hard to tell if this cake is savory or sweet, but one thing is certain: it’s making me hungry.

Read more: http://viralnova.com/kfc-birthday-cake/


Survey: An end to the Mommy Wars?

We just can’t keep up with the all the wars these days, but we’re glad this one’s winding down. From the Atlantic:

Still, despite the widespread sense that more workplace doors are opening for women, the survey found that half of women still believed that more opportunities were available for men and that most women expected the lingering pay gap between the sexes to endure. It also found that men and especially women were struggling to balance their responsibilities at work and home in an economy when many families need the income from two earners to stay afloat. Perhaps most strikingly, women felt the rules and expectations were often changing more rapidly around the conference table than the kitchen table, according to the survey: The vast majority of women with children continue to report that they spend more time than their spouses raising the children.

One reason for that may be revealed in this later paragraph:

In fact, the survey found that 65 percent of women, and a narrower 52 percent of men, expect the wage gap between the sexes to persist. Yet only about one-fourth of each gender attributed the pay gap primarily to discrimination or unfair treatment in the workplace. The largest group in each gender–almost half of women and about two-fifths of men–said that the pay gap existed because “women have different family and home life priorities and responsibilities than men.” The remaining one-fourth of men and approximately one-sixth of women attributed the difference to women making “different choices than men in the workplace,” such as not pursuing promotions as aggressively.

Let the gnashing of feminist teeth begin.

Also in the news:

Mommy Wars in the news. "Moms judge other moms: why one says she's sorry" | http://t.co/gmKl4gAs via @TIMEHealthland

— Larks (@LarksNotesThis) March 17, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/03/17/survey-an-end-to-the-mommy-wars/


These 20 Celebrities’ Yearbook Photos Are Hilarious… And Kinda Weird. LOL, Ryan Seacrest…

Looking back through old high school yearbooks is wonderful entertainment. You can laugh at the fads, the friends and the terrible hair decisions everyone seemed to make in the 80s and early 90s. What’s even better than looking at your old yearbook photos? Checking out what celebrities looked like back in the day. As it turns out, some of your favorite celebrities were little dweebs. And some (I’m looking at you Angelina) were as beautiful as ever.

1.) Jamie Lee Fox – a hair product addict

2.) Ryan Seacrest – “You’ll grow into it.”

3.) Sarah Jessica Parker – looks too innocent to have a show about sex in cities

4.) Stephen Colbert – reporting on being awesome

5.) Miley Cyrus – always a sucker for posing

6.) Tina Fey – before she was bossypants

7.) Adam Sandler – perfecting the Jew ‘fro

8.) Kanye West – NERD

9.) Ellen Degeneres – before she snagged her hot wife

10.) Eminem – before he was hardcore

11.) Winona Ryder – the girl who invented being goth

12.) James Franco – of the adorable Franco clan

13.) Steve Carrell – this hunk would never be a 40 year-old virgin

14.) Angelina Jolie – already too beautiful for her own good

15.) Helen Mirren – before she realized that she would be beautiful for decades

16.) Steve Jobs – he didn’t realize he’d change the world

17.) Tyra Banks – she already knew how to smile with her eyes

18.) Carrie Fisher – help us Carrie Fisher, you’re a nerd’s only hope

19.) Russell Brand – before transforming into a manwhore

20.) Seth Rogen & James Franco – adorable BFFs from the beginning

(H/T Elite Daily) Seeing these famous people as children (or at least younger) makes you realize how they all started out just like us. They used to be scrawny, awkward, short and silly. Anyone can become successful with enough drive and motivation. Even awkward Tina Fey grew up to be a beautiful, brilliant (and still hilariously awkward) writer, comedian and business woman. There’s always hope! Share these funny celebrity yearbook photos with others. Let people know that even A-listers started out just like us.

Read more: http://viralnova.com/celebrity-yearbook-photos/